


What's Left Behind

by Flareon14



Category: Warriors - Erin Hunter
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Minor Character(s), No betas so probably mistakes, Potential character/canon butchering, Rosepetal is leader, Set around Lost Stars/Silent Thaw timeline-wise, Will probably add more characters/add ships as I go along
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-15
Updated: 2020-03-26
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:07:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22271557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Flareon14/pseuds/Flareon14
Summary: After a sickness sweeps through Thunderclan, claiming the lives of the clan's strongest warriors within a terribly narrow timeframe, Rosestar is forced to rebuild her clan from a grief-stricken shadow of its former self. (Basically, an AU fic: Most of the major characters are dead, leaving a clan of background characters and nobodies behind.)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 25





	1. Prologue

"You shouldn't have come here."

Rosepetal's eyes widened as she took in the sight of her leader. Squirrelstar was lying in the middle of the abandoned twoleg nest, slouched in an uncomfortable position but seemingly too exhausted to put in the effort to shift her limbs. Her eyes were blurred with grief and fatigue. There was a terrible smell hovering in the air in this building now, death and sickness and rotting prey- fainter than the last time Rosepetal had been here, for sure, but ever-present and ominous. In the corner of the room there was a lump of silver fur that Rosepetal realised, with dawning horror and a twist in her gut, was her own apprentice, Bristlepaw. The young cat wasn't moving.

Squirrelstar raised her head weakly as Rosepetal stepped into the room. Her voice was hoarse as she spoke, "you shouldn't be here, you should be in camp, not this terrible place,” but there was no real push to her voice that suggested she actually wanted Rosepetal to leave- just a resigned, heartbreaking defeat.

“I came to check on you.” Rosepetal forced her sight towards the body in the corner. “How long ago did Bristlepaw… leave for Starclan?” She forced out the words through a grimace, the painful claws of reality starting to take a hold on her.

Squirrelstar closed her eyes. “Last night. There was nothing I could do. I wanted to come and tell you but I don’t think I’d have made the journey. I’m so, so sorry Rosepetal.” 

There were a few quiet moments then, the two mollies caught in a silent grief together. Bristlepaw had been the last cat to get sick. She’d spent all her time by Ivypool’s side when they were both still alive, sobbing her mother’s thin pelt that she didn’t want her to leave, that she was strong enough to battle through this, that they’d find a cure for the sickness and they would both be fine. The hope had started to fall through after the medicine cats had all perished, and further still when Bristlepaw’s cough accelerated.

The sickness had devastated Thunderclan. Bramblestar was the first to catch it, and it had quickly swept through all of his lives, knocking him back down each time after Starclan had tried to recover him from it. The cats had watched their leader struggling in the medicine den for maybe a week before he’d stopped moving and Squirrelflight had become leader. She’d made the journey to the Moonpool with Jayfeather, and it seemed that everything was going to be okay- however, she had confided in her new deputy, Rosepetal, that she hadn't actually completed the trek to the pool. Jayfeather had burst into a violent coughing fit on the way up, and by the time she'd made sure her foster son was well enough to walk again, the moonlight had waned and Starclan would not speak with her.

Early on, when it was just a few cats mildly ill, Thunderclan had sent messengers to other clans with questions about whether the sickness was present anywhere else and if there was sign of a cure, but were turned away dismissively by patrols, with shrugs and shallow ‘get well soon!’s. It hadn’t taken long to accelerate from there. Thunderclan were physically unable to make the next Gathering, too many cats sick and coughing, too many recent deaths. The sending of messengers was forced to stop, with most warriors sick or potentially carrying the virus. Ill cats were quarantined to the abandoned twoleg den in the territory, with the medicine cats making frequent checkups from main camp- but what were they going to do, really? There was seemingly no cure, no treatment. Within time the three medcats had become closer to grave-diggers than healers, and soon they all had to be quarantined themselves. 

Squirrelstar gave a cough, a terrible hacking noise that shook her whole body. Rosepetal flinched- was that blood around the leader’s muzzle or was the lighting just making her fur seem redder than usual? Squirrelstar spoke before Rosepetal could voice her concerns. "Is there any sign of the sickness in camp?"

Rosepetal shook her head. "No, Squirrelstar. You and Bris- you're the last sick cat. Nobody else has shown any signs, not even a touch of whitecough."

Squirrelstar sighed, contentedly. "Then Thunderclan is safe."

This reply threw off Rosepetal. "No, we're not! We don't have a medicine cat. Starclan won't speak with us. The other clans have turned a blind eye to our struggle. You're our leader, and you're- you're still sick." Rosepetal's voice caught on that last point. She knew, beneath her denial, that Squirrelstar wasn't going to make it back from this disease. After so many seemingly incurable and unpreventable deaths, it would be a miracle if Squirrelstar could crawl back from the brink of death. Rosepetal was lying to herself, and she knew Squirrelstar knew that as well.

Squirrelstar gave Rosepetal a long stare, like a silent confirmation of what the deputy already knew to be true. Rosepetal felt her dark cream fur start to edge up along her spine and she twitched her ears. "Squirrelstar, I can't- it's too soon, I don't know what to do, I- I can't be leader."

Squirrelstar snorted. "Would have I appointed you deputy if I thought you couldn't do it? You're an experienced warrior, Rosepetal. You've been doing a great job taking care of the clan thus far, and I know you'll continue to work hard. You'll be a great leader, the one Thunderclan deserves after all we've suffered these last moons. You're going to be great."

Rosepetal could feel tears stinging in her eyes, still furiously shaking her head as though if she shook it hard enough she could dislodge her thoughts from her mind. “No, no, I- Please, Squirrelstar- what am I supposed to say to the clan?” 

But the leader was barely listening to her, head drawn over her paws and rough breath beginning to shallow. “I can’t wait to see my kits again,” she rasped. “And Leafpool, and Bramblestar, and my parents- Starclan, I miss them all so much Rosepetal.” Her body twitched and she tried to cough, and Rosepetal jerked towards her leader and pressed a firm paw against her, feeling her heaving flanks start to settle beneath her unkempt ginger pelt. 

“Don’t leave me, Squirrelstar,” she urged, desperate, and Squirrelstar responded with a weak smile as she shifted again, gentle now, settling her head against the ground.

“I’m so sorry.” she whispered. “Take care of Thunderclan for me.”

And then she was gone.

\- - -

Thunderclan Allegiances

Leader: Squirrelstar- Short-legged, dark ginger she-cat with one white paw and green eyes (-> Rosestar)

Deputy: Rosepetal- Dark cream, almost rosy-furred she-cat (-> ???)

Medicine Cats: N/A

Warriors: Whitewing- Older white she-cat with green eyes  
Mousewhisker- lean gray and white tom  
Poppyfrost- large calico she-cat with blue eyes  
Lilyheart: small, dark-grey tabby she-cat with white patches and blue eyes (Apprentice, Flamepaw)  
Cherryfall- nimble ginger she-cat with amber eyes  
Molewhisker- brown and cream tom (Apprentice, Finchpaw)  
Eaglewing- ginger she-cat with yellow eyes  
Dewnose- gray and white tom (Apprentice, Thriftpaw)  
Stormcloud- gray tabby tom, ex-kittypet  
Hollytuft- black she-cat with green eyes (Apprentice, Flippaw)  
Fernsong- tall, soft-furred yellow tabby tom  
Honeyfur- white she-cat with yellow splotches  
Shellfur- pale, long-furred tortoiseshell tom  
Plumstone- short black she-cat with ginger spots  
Leafshade- small tortoiseshell she-cat  
Flywhisker- tiny grey tabby she-cat  
Snaptooth- short golden tom

Queens: Daisy- huge, long-furred cream she-cat from the Horseplace  
Sorrelstripe- brown tabby she-cat (Mother to Baykit and Myrtlekit)

Kits: Baykit- golden tabby tom  
Myrtlekit- small brown tabby she-cat

Apprentices: Thriftpaw- Tall dark-grey she-cat with tufted ears  
Flippaw- scrawny brown tabby tom  
Flamepaw- black tom  
Finchpaw- tortoiseshell she-cat

Elders: Brackenfur- golden-brown tabby tom with greying muzzle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo yeah, this is a thing! After finishing Holly, I've been aching to work on more fic, but wasn't sure where I could go with Warriors- the main characters are kinda done to death and the minor characters have nothing to build on- so then I wondered, "hey what if I just killed off all the main characters so I could impose personalities on the rest of Thunderclan" and here we are. Also I'm not posting allegiances for the other four clans, refer to the Lost Stars ones if you need to because I'm not changing those. I have changed around a few descriptions in the Thunderclan allegiances, but they should still be close to canon!  
> (Fun fact I was -this- close to killing off Daisy but I couldn't bring myself to do it so I went and put her back in the allegiances. She probably won't do much but I can't kill her I just can't.)


	2. Chapter 2

Rosepetal trudged her way back up to the camp, grief weighing in her heart like a heavy stone. It had become a familiar feeling by now, unfortunately. Hopefully she could build herself back up from this rock bottom; she couldn’t take anymore heartbreak.

Rosepetal was fortunate in that she’d hardly lost any kin to the sickness. There wasn’t much kin she had, in the first place, compared to other cats in the clan; she couldn’t bear to imagine life in the paws of a cat like Fernsong after all this. Brackenfur, the only remaining elder in the clan, must be struggling especially right now- to have so many cats close to you suddenly be stripped away seemed like a nightmare. The closest familial tie Rosepetal had lost recently was Berrynose, her half-brother, but while she had grieved him, her mother was still around; as was Mousewhisker, her other half-brother, and Berrynose’s mate and kits. 

The endurance of her family as a whole hadn’t softened the blow of unrelated clanmates though. She pictured the limp, pitiful form of Bristlepaw and wondered how in Starclan she was going to tell Fernsong about his daughter. Could she bear to see his face after that? Losing Ivypool had destroyed him. He was so close to his kits, and now…

Rosepetal shook the thought out of her mind. She couldn’t focus on that right now. She was Thunderclan’s new leader, and she had to select a deputy. She felt a faint sting of regret at training so many apprentices herself through her time as a Warrior- she was finding it hard to remember who else had mentored who, and she couldn’t ignore the rule about deputies requiring that experience. It didn’t matter either way to her, but after such awful luck lately, she didn’t want to set off any superstitious clanmates. 

She considered her options over in her head. Molewhisker had definitely had an apprentice before, but he carried an apathy about him that Rosepetal didn’t appreciate. His sister Cherryfall was maybe a little too enthusiastic and flighty, but her optimism was undying, and that was what the clan needed right now- both siblings had good heads on their shoulders, either way.

Hollytuft? Rosepetal could promote Flippaw and then appoint her, she guessed. Pretty good hunter, but potentially a little too quiet. She didn’t think she’d ever seen the black-furred molly in a fight, so she couldn’t even assess her skills on that front. Whitewing was definitely too old now, she was looking towards retirement in a couple of moons. Lilyheart was too kind, a stubborn pacifist, she probably couldn't handle the pressure of deputyship. Dewnose didn’t seem like a prime decision-maker either, and Rosepetal wasn’t sure he’d be a popular choice. Poppyfrost? Mousewhisker? Starclan, why was this so hard? 

More pressing was the blatant lack of a medicine cat. Lilyheart and Poppyfrost had been filling in, issuing herbs that they were familiar with and pulling thorns out of pawpads, but they both lacked actual medicine cat training, and had absolutely no idea what the purpose of half of the herb stores were. She'd have to ask at the next gathering to borrow a medicine cat from Riverclan or Skyclan, probably, to train one of her clanmates. Maybe one of the apprentices would be interested in that career? Myrtlekit had been rather passionate about fetching herbs, Rosepetal could suggest the idea to her.

She'd made so many trips to the abandoned twoleg nest that she didn't even have to focus on the journey to arrive at her destination anymore, her body could just make the walk on autopilot. She didn't realise she was nearly home until her paws dragged through the camp entrance, and Cherryfall bounded up to her, tail raised. "Rosepetal! How did it go? Does it look like Squirrelstar or Bristlepaw are gonna get better?"

As reality dragged Rosepetal back out of her thoughts with bitter suddenness, the entire world passed in slow motion, and there was a consistent buzz in her ears that seemed to drown out everything. She opened her mouth to answer Cherryfall but no words came out. Her eyes blurred and she stared at nothing, aware that her niece was still talking to her but too exhausted to process her words. Cherryfall eventually nudged Rosepetal's shoulder with a paw, expression swapped excitement for concern, and Rosepetal mustered her will in order to utter something, anything to just get the news out.

"I'm leader." She murmured. Then again, "I'm leader now. Thunderclan's leader. It’s me. I’m sorry.”

She shut her eyes for a few moments, focusing on the sound of her own breath and trying not to listen as Cherryfall let out a barrage of pleading questions. She squeezed her way around the warrior, turning her face towards her in the process and trying to sound as stoic as she could.

“Cherryfall, please announce to the clan that Squirrelstar has... passed on, as well as Bristlepaw. I’ll leave for the Moonpool later. I’m just so, so fucking tired right now. I need to lie down.” I can’t do this, rang in her head, but she forced herself to not speak self-doubt aloud. If she were to be leader now, she had to do her best job at it, and that included keeping the Clan’s hopes up. She didn’t need her Clanmates to become reflections of her own inner anxieties right now, she needed them to look up to her. She had no option to step down at this point, she had to take charge here, she had to be a role-model. _It’s kind of like having an apprentice, right? Except this time,_ she thought, _I’m the mentor to over 20 cats, all at once._

She couldn’t go to the Warriors den right now, she needed privacy and silence, commodities granted only by the Leader’s den at the moment. Until now it had been Squirrelstar’s den, though it wasn’t like the ginger she-cat had really had the chance to make much use of it in the short span of time where she was the Clan’s leader. 

It was a spacious den, Rosepetal found, a size which only served to emphasise its current emptiness. Loneliness had been her expectation, and the den lived up to it. There was no bedding in there either right now, the last of it having been recently cleared out and disposed of for fear of carrying the illness. For a brief moment, Rosepetal considered climbing back down the ledge and retrieving some, but she heard Cherryfall’s voice cut through the clearing as she called a meeting, and no, nevermind, that was the last place Rosepetal wanted to be. She found a place where the hard den floor looked the smoothest and slumped down against it, burying her face in her own pelt and pressing her forepaws over her ears to block out the wails of pain and distress of her Clanmates. Trying to force herself to focus on the rhythm of her chest again, she sang a song to herself in her head. An uplifting tune that Daisy had used to hum to her and Toadkit in the nursery, with lyrics conjured shoddily on the spot to give her something to think about. It’s going to be okay. I’m going to be okay. Thunderclan’s safe, no one else will die, and I’m going to make things okay.

*  
“Rosepetal, do you think it’s going to be okay?”

“Eh?” Rosepetal shot a look over her shoulder at Lilyheart, who was trailing behind a little. Night had fallen and the two cats were on their way up to the Moonpool.

“I mean…” Lilyheart frowned and dragged one of her paws through a puddle. “I’m not a real medicine cat. I don’t know what we’re supposed to do. What if Starclan don’t give you your lives because I’m here? Did they give Squirrelstar her lives okay?”

“Squirrelstar went with Jayfeather.” Rosepetal reminded the warrior. Then quietly, she added, “They didn’t even make it to the Moonpool, though. Squirrelstar never got her lives.”

“Oh,” murmured Lilyheart, softly. “I had wondered how the illness had claimed her so fast. That explains it.” Then, she whispered, “What if it comes back?”

“It won’t come back.” Rosestar promised. “If it does, there’s nothing we can do to stop it, but it won’t. Starclan wouldn’t allow us to suffer like that again.”

Lilyheart winced. “Why would they let it happen the first time, though?”

“This seems like a pretty bad time to badmouth them, let’s not delve into this,” Rosepetal advised. “We need to stay positive right now, anyways. That’s our main priority.”

“Is that why you picked Cherryfall as deputy?” Lilyheart queried. “She’s certainly optimistic.”

“Yeah, that was part of the reason.” Rosepetal didn’t want to admit that her decision had been one of snap judgement. She’d been juggling between a few cats and had just picked one at random. Of all the random decisions she could have made, though, this certainly wasn’t the worst. Cherryfall was popular, and she was certainly more socially involved than some of Rosepetal’s other options, like Hollytuft or Mousewhisker. She desperately didn’t want to seem like a bad leader though, so she couldn’t let anyone know how little thought had existed behind such an important decision as clan deputy. 

The Moonpool was gorgeous, a small pond secluded in a stone basin atop a hill. There was something almost ethereal about the pool, water dappled with an unusually bright blue. The very sight of it send a chill up Rosepetal's limbs, and she heard Lilyheart give a little gasp behind her. "Woah."

"Uh," Rosepetal muttered, suddenly unsure of what she was doing. She felt vastly unprepared for all of this. "So do I just… touch my nose against it and then drink?"

"Yeah, I think so." Lilyheart's eyes were still wide at the sight of the pool, utterly transfixed. "You're supposed to sleep after you drink it. That's when you meet with Starclan."

"What do you do, then? Does the medicine cat touch the water as well?"

"Oh, I-I'm not sure. I don't think so. I'm not a real medicine cat anyways. I'll just… stay back here." Lilyheart took a step backwards hurriedly.

"Alright, you do you. I don't think Starclan are going to just turn me away if we get it wrong." Rosepetal's tone was humorous, but her own joke was beginning to instill further doubt in her. Would they? 

It was while she was bending down to the water that she suddenly realised, with a jolt, that she was about to meet with Starclan. A flurry of faces passed through her head, cats she thought she'd never see again until she had died herself. Her distant father, Spiderleg. Her half-sister, Hazeltail. Several of her apprentices, Larksong Stemleaf and Bristlepaw, all recently claimed far too soon. Her mentor and predecessor, Squirrelstar. She pictured the face of her brother Toadstep and her heart cracked. How could she face these cats again?

Determined not to show hesitance in front of the already anxious Lilyheart, she practically thrust her head forwards into the glimmering pool, tasting the icy water, and shut her eyes firmly. Folding her legs beneath her, she settled down and the world around her faded away as she drifted into sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's all a bit doom and gloom this chapter! There's going to be a slight timeskip between this chapter and the next, so the feeling of grief won't be as... immediate? This isn't a happy fic concept by any means but I know how dull it is to just have nothing but angst and grief in a story. Also the POV is going to shift about, so we'll get out of Rosepetal/star's head real soon.


	3. Chapter 3

"So what are we doing over here then?"

Stormcloud watched Leafshade shoot her sister Honeyfur a confused squint at that question. "Um, fixing the elders' den. Rosestar literally just told us that." It had been several days since Rosepetal had returned from the Moonpool, newly appointed as Rosestar. She'd instantly gotten to work fixing up elements of Thunderclan camp that had fallen into disrepair over the harsh period the clan had just experienced.

"Oh, I wasn't paying attention." Honeyfur stared at the den. "What’s wrong with it?”

Hollytuft snorted from a few fox-lengths behind them, and Leafshade gave a dramatic, drawn-out sigh. Honeyfur stared at her clanmates, confused, so Stormcloud decided to fill in himself, in a cheery tone of voice. “Erm, part of the roof is falling down! We need to fix it back up so Brackenfur doesn’t get all wet, you know?”

“Okay.” Honeyfur eyed the run-down den doubtfully. “Aren’t we going to get our fur all muddy? Why can’t Brackenfur just move somewhere else? He’s the only elder, does he need a whole den to himself?”

Leafshade slapped a paw over her face, grumbling in frustration. “Of course he does! If the nursery fell down, would you just leave it there because there’s no queens? There’s always going to be more elders. Cats get old, Honeyfur.”

“Well, why do I have to patch it up?” Honeyfur complained. “That’s not really fair. Look how pale my fur is! It’ll take forever to get mud out of it.”

“Trust me, mouse-brain, I’ll make sure you get mud in your fur either way if you don’t shut up,” snapped Leafshade, taking a threatening step towards Honeyfur who didn’t seem to notice. Stormcloud twitched his whiskers, as an image of Leafshade violently shoving her sister against the dirt flashed through his mind. He opened his mouth to say something, but Hollytuft, clearly envisioning the same conflict, interjected first. 

“Hey, cut it out, both of you. I’m not breaking up another fight.” she barked. She shook her head and muttered “siblings,” under her breath. Benny's face suddenly appeared in Stormcloud’s head and he flinched. Praying that his sudden cringe didn’t show on his face, he tried to respond with a shaky laugh. “Yeah, it must be weird having kin in the clan.”

Hollytuft reacted strangely to that. It was as though Stormcloud’s words took a moment to process in her head, but she suddenly froze, and the fur along her back prickled subtly for a second before quickly creeping back down again. Stormcloud stared at her, curiously, before he remembered with a jolt of alarm that she’d lost her parents, a younger sister and a niece all very recently to the sickness. He hadn’t meant to remind anyone of that; kin was a sore subject for a lot of cats right now, and he could have kicked himself for blurting out loud about it. He flattened his ears and whispered “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to- I mean- I know it’s touchy right now, I’ll-”

“What? What.” Hollytuft opened and closed her mouth, then shook her head. “No, no, it’s not that, don’t worry. I was thinking about another thing. Like, um, something I was thinking the other day. It’s fine.” She coughed awkwardly, and turned away from Stormcloud to go and help Leafshade start on the den. Stormcloud stared after her.

What’s she so uncomfortable about? If it’s not the sickness, just the mention of family, does uh… wait, does she like me? He shook off that thought. No, wait, I'm pretty sure she's not into toms, nevermind. Maybe she’s just annoyed that we have to fix the den or something."

Fixing the den was a grueling enough task. The roof and walls had become slick with mud, refusing to retain any stability that the cats managed to restore. Moss was too sparse to use for waterproofing, making better use as bedding, so they had to resort to whatever materials they could find, all while the roof was trying its best to collapse on them. Stormcloud was sitting inside the dripping den with his paws pressed up against the side as support while Leafshade and Hollytuft moved around outside, trying to find the source of the problem. 

Honeyfur was squatting adjacent to Stormcloud, sopping wet with muddy water and wearing a miserable expression. Stormcloud's irritation towards the molly had given way to sympathy as he eyed her pale ginger and white coat; every stain across her pelt was completely visible, making her appear almost like a tortoiseshell. Stormcloud had shrugged off her previous complaints about her fur as vanity and laziness but could now see the justification. He didn't envy the time she was going to need to spend washing this mud out.

He flicked his ear as he heard Leafshade give an exaggerated sigh from where she was working outside the den. There was a patter of paws and then the short tortoiseshell trotted around the exterior and poked her head through the entrance. "Hey, so we think we fixed the problem. You guys can go now, it's not gonna collapse. We're just gonna touch up some of the waterproofing on the outside." She looked from Stormcloud to her sister and gave a loud snort at the sight of her fur before dashing back around the den.

Stormcloud sniffed the roof doubtfully as he gingerly took his paws off of it. "I'm not convinced this is completely secure," he murmured to Honeyfur, "and it's still soaking wet inside the den, but like, whatever. Poor Brackenfur. I hope they don't put him back in here right away."

"Yeah…" Honeyfur agreed softly, but she was still distractedly staring at her own muddied tail with a sorrowful expression, so Stormcloud gave up on conversation and left. Hollytuft was testing some lichen on the roof, and she shot Stormcloud a curious look again before shifting her gaze back to her job. Mildly unnerved, he paced away from the elders den trying not to meet her gaze. That's weird. Did I do something wrong?

He noticed Cherryfall standing around at the other side of camp and broke into a jog towards her. He was always happy to talk to Cherryfall. The two cats had a sort of chemistry, and it wasn't often he got the chance to chat with her since she became deputy. 

She noticed him coming and laughed, calling out. "Hey, Stormcloud! How's repair duty?" Her smile instantly lifted Stormcloud’s mood.

"Bad!" He cheered back. "I need a wash and the den's still soaked."

"Well, duh, we weren't asking you to dry it. What were you gonna do, harness the sun?" She raised an eyebrow. "I think Brackenfur can sleep in the nursery tonight. We'll try moving mud away tomorrow, see if we can move him back in, y'know. Sorry about your fur though."

"I'm not half as bad as Honeyfur! You should see the state her pelt's in."

Cherryfall started laughing, raising a paw off the ground as she did. She had a sweet laugh, Stormcloud thought. It was nice to joke around after the miserable atmosphere that had been looking over the camp for moons. Stormcloud almost felt like he was morally in the wrong as he joined in with her, but the tension in his chest gradually released.

"Yeah, so," Cherryfall finally spoke, flicking a head towards the leader's den, "it's the Gathering tonight. We haven't sorted out exactly who's going but you can come along, if you like."

"Wait, just like that?" Stormcloud tilted his head. This felt too informal. He'd all but forgotten that Cherryfall was even deputy.

She shrugged. "Sure! Why not. It's not like there's an abundance of us anyways. We could probably bring along the whole clan and nobody would bat an eye."

We're smaller now because our clanmates are dead. We shouldn't be joking about this, Stormcloud thought, guiltily, but he chuckled anyways. "Haha, yeah, of course we could.”

“Cherryfall!” Rosestar’s exasperated words cut through the air from across the camp. “The patrol!”

“Oh shit, yep! That’s a thing I gotta do. Cherryfall’s ears pricked as she jerked her head away, glancing around the camp. “I should go find cats for that right now. I’m still a bit behind on this whole organisation thing,” she admitted, turning sheepishly back towards Stormcloud. “It’s not fair to make you go on patrol right after that den work; I’ll go track down my brother or someone. It was nice talking to you, though! See you soon!”

She nudged the tom playfully as she brushed past him, and he waved his tail at her and gave a wide smile. “Yeah, talk to you later! Good luck on patrol!”

Stormcloud stood there for a few more moments, gazing at the ginger molly as she bounded away across the clearing. His eyes then flicked around the camp, and suddenly the moment of light joy began to lift as he started to notice things again; the dwindling fresh-kill pile, the still-soaked shambles of an elder’s den, and the worn dirt near the camp entrance where so many cats were frequently trudging on their way to the grave-place to pay respects to fallen family. His smile began to fade and the familiar pit returned to his stomach as he turned away from Cherryfall and he started thinking of something, anything he could do to just take his mind off the clan’s grief.

***

Finally done with the den, Hollytuft slipped through the clearing, swift and quiet as a bird in flight. She dodged around cats in her way- she couldn’t be bothered with polite conversations and social niceties at the moment. She was looking for someone.

Sorrelstripe wasn’t a hard cat to find. She’d been a queen when the sickness rolled in, and the clan’s leaders had been too busy to officially promote her kits- as a result, she still held the title of queen, and slept in the nursery, despite Myrtlekit and Baykit being well over 6 moons and having started odd apprentice duties. Sorrelstripe used to be outgoing, definitely more so than Hollytuft herself, but grief changed cats. If Sorrelstripe wasn’t tagging along on a patrol, and Daisy wasn't occupying the nursery, Hollytuft noticed that her sister was usually alone in the empty den, staring at the walls and tearing up moss with unsheathed claws. Today was no different; Daisy was helping with repairs so she sat alone in her nest, the nursery seeming entirely too large for just the one cat hunched over in the centre. She pricked an ear in acknowledgement when Hollytuft cleared her throat at the entrance, but did not turn around.

The two sisters had never had a perfect bond. Fernsong acted as sort of a bridge in their sibling dynamic- nobody could bring themselves to dislike Fernsong, after all. Hollytuft got along with him, Sorrelstripe got along with him, and the three littermates got along great as a trio- but when their brother was taken out of the picture, Hollytuft and Sorrelstripe’s relationship could be little strained.

Hollytuft cleared her throat again. No further response. She spoke. “Sorrelstripe.”

“What patrol do you want me for?” Sorrelstripe finally murmured, turning her head slightly. “Or is it Baykit? If he’s bothering Brackenfur again, I can come and get him-”

“It’s not your kits.” Hollytuft stated, then awkwardly added, “Well, I mean... it kind of is, but not in that way." Sorrelstripe, can I come in?

"Do what you want." Sorrelstripe flatly replied, and when the black-furred cat sat down beside her, she gave a sigh. "So, Rosestar's apprenticing them, then? I know they're overdue now. Flamepaw and Finchpaw were apprenticed almost a moon ago, before Sparkpelt died, and my kits are older."

"It's not that either, though I hope Rosestar gets on that soon." Hollytuft spoke in a neutral tone, critically scanning her sister's face to capture any reaction she could. "Sorrelstripe; who is Baykit and Myrtlekit's father?"

Something hard to read flashed in Sorrelstripe's eyes. "That's none of your business," she muttered and then "why do you want to know?"

Sorrelstripe jumping on the defense started to spur the worst assumptions in Hollytuft, and she felt a hollow fluttering in her chest as she resumed talking. "I always assumed it was Stormcloud." Hoped it was Stormcloud, she thought. "But I heard him going on just now about not having any kin in Thunderclan… and, well, you know."

"I still don't see how that makes this any of your business." Sorrelstripe retorted, hackles creeping up along her spine. "You've never been involved with my social life before. A queen doesn't have to reveal the sire of their kits, you know. Maybe I don't want him involved in their life. Maybe he's dead. I'm not telling you anything."

"Sorrelstripe, you don't understand!" Hollytuft was exasperated. "I'm asking about this for your safety. Are you aware that our clan just got cut in half population-wise, or did you miss that?" Hollytuft flinched at her own sarcastic remark, but kept going. "Nobody will shut up about whoever's going to have the next litter. There's no doubt that while the Clan have that fresh in their minds, people are gonna come to you asking about the dad of yours, and if it's somebody it's not supposed to be and you get found out then you're going to be in trouble. Believe it or not, you're my sister and I care about you, and I don't want that to happen. If you won't tell me, that's fine, but judging from your reaction, it's not a Thunderclan cat, is it? I'm not here to judge you, but if you've got a secret, I can help you hide it."

Sorrelstripe glowered at her sister. "I don't trust you. Why would I? If you're so concerned about kits, have your own."

Hollytuft groaned and rubbed her eyes. "That's not- I don't like- that's not what I'm here about. I'm not concerned about our population. The others are. Cherryfall, Mousewhisker, Snaptooth, you know the ones. I couldn't care less, really, it's not like the other clans are vastly populated. But like… shit, Sorrelstripe. Does Fernsong know about your kits' father?"

"...yes. He's the only one who knows. Don't ask him about it, though, it would be unfair to drag him into this. You know that. He's not in the best place right now."

"I won't drag Fernsong into anything," Hollytuft promised. "You can trust me on that." 

Sorrelstripe exhaled softly through her nose, resting her head on her paws. She cast her gaze sideways, staring at nothing for a while. Then, she shut her eyelids and spoke.

"Mum and Dad wouldn't want me to be hiding this from you, would they? For Starclan's sake, we're littermates. What would I lose letting another cat know?"

Hollytuft said nothing, trying not to knead the ground in anticipation as her sister met her gaze.

"...does the name Podlight ring a bell?"

"Oh, for fucks sake." Hollytuft grunted.

Sorrelstripe's ears shot up and clambered to her paws quickly. "Wait, you know him?"

"No. No, I don't know him, and that's the problem. What Clan is he from?"

"He's from Riverclan." A dreamy expression overtook Sorrelstripe's face and her eyes glazed as she became lost in thought. "He's… he's a grey and white tom. He's wonderfully handsome. He-"

"Right, okay, that's enough." Hollytuft had been expecting something like this, but the blatant confession still shook her with discomfort. She'd never been uptight about the Code, but the fact that her sister had been running away with someone from Riverclan was still difficult to grasp. Dozens of questions were swimming around her head, and none of them were concerned with what the guy looked like. "How long ago did you meet him? Are you still seeing him? How old is he? Do the kits know they're halfclan? Why Riverclan, we don't even share a border with them? What in Starclan's name made you think this was a good idea?" Hollytuft paused for a breath and was cut off by Sorrelstripe growling at her.

"You literally just said you wouldn't judge me!"

"This isn't judgement, this is reasonable concern!"

"Well, to answer some of your questions," Sorrelstripe shot her sister a look, "I met him at a gathering, seasons ago. We just kind of clicked, as friends at first, and we started organising meetups at the lake island. He's a little older than us, but not terribly- I think he's around Cherryfall's age? Younger? Anyways, he definitely knows about the kits. I went to go and see him when I realised I was pregnant, and he was delighted." 

Sorrelstripe blinked sadly as she kept talking. "I… haven't seen him since then. I knew it would be a while, because soon I wasn’t able to sneak out, and the kits would need to be weaned before I could reasonably leave to go and see him again, but I wasn't expecting any of… well, this, to happen. I miss him, dreadfully. The kits don't know about him, nobody does, and we've missed a few Gatherings- the other clans know we were sick and he'll be worried." Her tail started flicking with anxiety. "I need to go and see him. Soon, as soon as possible.” We should meet up tomorrow, since the Gathering's tonight. Hey, uh- if I don't get picked to go- you can let him know I'm okay, right? And the kits? He has a son and daughter? Also tell him that I'll meet him tomorrow night, at the lake like usual! "

"You'll probably get picked, but sure. Describe him to me later, I need to process this." Hollytuft rubbed her head with a paw. "You went around from 'I don't trust you' to 'pass along messages for me' that fast, huh? Am I just... in this now?"

Sorrelstripe shrugged. "Mm, I guess? It just feels good to get this off my chest to somebody, the stress of it all has been killing me." She paused for a second. "Hey, wait! I could take you along with me to meet him?" 

"Hold on! No, no, no! I'm not sneaking out of camp!" Hollytuft glanced over her shoulder quickly and nervously, as though someone had just walked in on them plotting a murder. Then, she turned back to her sister and repeated herself in a hushed tone. "I'm not sneaking out of camp."

“Why not? I mean, it’s not like you’ll get caught.” Sorrelstripe rolled her eyes, but she was grinning now, clearly planning out details for seeing Podlight again. “We’ve not even been upkeeping our own borders, for Starclan’s sake. Everyone’s too busy to notice anyone slipping out. We could say it’s a late night hunt.” She rubbed her chin with one paw. “Riverclan are pretty lax about that kinda stuff too- they always have plenty of food and nobody messes with them, so they’re not as strict as the other clans about what their cats are doing and when. It’ll be no trouble for Podlight either, honest. I’d have already visited him if it wasn’t for those two little balls of energy.” She paused. “Well, that one little ball of energy, and also Myrtlekit.”

“Sorrelstripe,” Hollytuft warned, “That’s illegal. This is all illegal. Like, blatantly against the code. This is a crime. I’m not particularly fond of the idea of assisting you with said crime.”

“We both know the rule’s bullshit, though, let’s be fair.” Sorrelstripe shrugged again. “And last time I checked, meeting cats from other clans isn’t against the code. This is on me, not you. I never said you have to fall in love with a Riverclan cat yourself. I also never said you needed to come, it was a suggestion in the first place. You can’t stop me going though.”

“Didn’t think I could,” grumbled Hollytuft. “I don’t like any of this, though. Starclan won’t be happy, and we need their favour now, more than ever.”

“I’m not hurting anyone! If Starclan don’t like it, they should have stopped me back then.” Sorrelstripe was still grinning. Hollytuft was going to voice more concerns, but then halted as it dawned on her that she hadn’t seen her littermate this genuinely happy in moons. She needed to get this off her chest. That guardedness earlier was probably just a front. If just thinking about this guy can make her smile like that, he must be extremely special to her. Hollytuft had never fallen for another cat that hard- all she had to her name were a pawful of fleeting crushes or vague fantasies, and that just made Sorrelstripe’s adoration of Podlight appear all the stronger to her. 

“Alright, then.” She sighed. “If you aren’t picked for the Gathering and I am, describe him to me then so I don’t forget. This is our secret now.”

“Well, technically, it’s also Fernsong’s. He knows about as much as you do. Don’t go talking to him behind my back though.” Sorrelstripe replied. “But thanks,” she then quickly added, “It means a lot.”

Hollytuft winked. “What kind of stupid name even is Podlight, anyways?”

“It’s like a seed pod! And then, um, light!”

“A seed pod? Really?”

Sorrelstripe snorted as she flopped back down into her bedding with a thump. “Shut up.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey I don't have time to fully proofread this it's like nearly 2am in my timezone so I hope it posts ok. Kudos and reviews are highly appreciated as always!


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